You Just Might Be Waterfall...

• If you have a "Sprint Zero" that lasts 12 weeks to get a "jump on planning"... You just might be Waterfall.
• If you have a test team that works a "sprint behind"...
• If you have a test team that performs all of your regression tests. Manually...
• If you have an "Agile Project Manager" who drives you to "increase your velocity"...
• If you have a partially allocated resource on your team...
• If you have a Technical Lead on your team who is responsible for all decisions regarding software...
• If your team and the people around your team often use the phrases "but we’re not true agile" or "but we’re not pure agile"...
• If you plan on completing System, Integration, and Performance Testing in your last four Sprints...
• If your leadership complains that they need more Status Reporting and they have to know what the "Gap to Green" is...
• If your daily standup consists of going through all the tickets on your board and giving a progress report on each of them...
• If your Scrum Master has more than three letters behind his or her name (SPC4, CSP, ICP-ACC, SA4, CSPO, PMPO, PSPO-I, CSM, SASM, PSM-I, PMI-ACP, SSM, TKP, PMP)...
• If your Release Plan looks like this: Sprint 1-4 Analysis, Sprint 5-8 Design, Sprint 9-15 Coding, Sprint 16 and 17 Test... You just might be Waterfall.
• If you have a pre-planning meeting to prepare for your planning meeting...  
• If at any time, anyone ever utters the phrase "steering committee"...  
• If your teams spends a “Sprint” on estimation...
• If your “Agile Project Manager” tells you that your estimation (which you wasted a whole "Sprint" developing) “won’t work”...
• If your dev team members tell you that their stories are done “except for JUNITs”...
• If your dev team members feel that assertNotNull(someObject) is a comprehensive test...
• If your testers “have nothing to do” because they are “waiting for the coders to finish” ...
• If your Product Backlog consists of a long list of technical tasks...
• If your Product Owner insists on the team performing Release Planning every two weeks...
• If your “Agile Manager” starts to “grade” individual team members on the number of stories they finish each Sprint...
• *If your stakeholders start deriding you as a “purist” because you insist they AND the Product Owner attend the Sprint Review...
• If your PMO…  Wait? You STILL have a PMO..?  You just might be waterfall.
• But seriously, If your PMO starts looking for “metrics like velocity” to measure teams’ success...
• If your Enterprise declares that all story points must be normalized... You just might be Waterfall. Or SAFe Certified. (But what’s the difference, really?)
• Finally, if you think that developing a Big up Front Design, Fixing Scope, Fixing Delivery Date, AND Fixing Dollar cost, to create a software application built by partially allocated resources conducting a series of hand-offs to different teams comprised of geographically dispersed contractors across the globe, and then throwing it all together at the end and believing that it will all work, (pause to breathe here) is a better way of building software... You just might be Waterfall. And live in an alternate reality.